Welcome to the bit where I tell you exactly how parenting really works. Not the Instagram version where everyone's smiling and the kitchen is clean. The actual version where your toddler has just announced they hate you because you gave them the wrong colored cup.

This is where you'll find real parenting stories and tips from someone who's been doing this for over eighteen years with nine very individual kids.

Yes, nine. You read tha right. Our family is ‘blended’ I think that’s the trendy term for it these days. I have two stepdaughters, a three-year-old who thinks pants are optional, and a 20-month-old who has recently discovered the joy of throwing food. There's also an 18-year-old, 16-yaer-old, a 14-year old, 12-year-old and a 9-year-old who live in Holland with their mother - a long story that deserves its own blog - who between them generate enough drama to provide the script for at least four series of a Mexican telenovela.

You won't find perfect parenting advice here because perfect parenting doesn't exist.

What you will find is honest stories and tips that have helped me during my parenting highs and lows, including confirming the simple fact that that serving fish fingers for dinner three nights running is absolutely fine.

These are real parenting experiences from the trenches of family life, most likely written while hiding in the bathroom for five minutes of peace.

If you're looking for tips on raising grateful, mindful children who eat quinoa and never have meltdowns, you're in the wrong place. If you want to read about surviving tantrums in Tesco, dealing with kids who think bedtime is a suggestion, and managing family chaos when you're running too much coffee and a rapidly dwindling sense of determination, then welcome home.

No judgment here. No perfect Pinterest boards. Just real talk about the beautiful mess that is raising tiny humans who occasionally act like complete dickheads. Because sometimes that's exactly what they do, and pretending otherwise helps nobody.

So saddle up, grab a coffee (or wine, depending on what time you're reading this) and dive into the chaos., because one thing is for sure, you're not alone in this madness.