Win the nightly war without losing your sanity (or your Netflix time).
Bedtime isn’t a calm, candle-lit routine from Instagram—it’s a full-blown hostage negotiation with tiny, irrational terrorists. If you’ve ever found yourself arguing with a toddler about “just one more story,” or staring into the abyss at 3am wondering if your child is secretly training for Navy SEAL sleep deprivation tests, this guide is for you.
Inside you’ll find:
Reality checks that hit home – because yes, your kid is being a little dick sometimes, and that’s normal.
Battle tactics you can use tonight – scripts, shortcuts, and step-by-step strategies that actually work in the real world (not just in parenting books written by people with one angelic sleeper).
Printable survival tools – checklists for 3am troubleshooting, bedtime trackers, and scripts that shut down endless “water” and “toilet” requests.
Humor that keeps you sane – because if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry (and probably end up eating cold chicken nuggets in the dark).
Written by a parent of nine kids who’s fought every possible bedtime battle, this isn’t theory. It’s lived-in, tested-under-fire survival.
Whether you’re dealing with bedtime resistance, toddler tornadoes, or kids who treat sleep like an optional hobby, this guide gives you the weapons you need to reclaim your evenings.
Parenting is chaos. Bedtime is war. This is your battle manual.
Win the nightly war without losing your sanity (or your Netflix time).
Bedtime isn’t a calm, candle-lit routine from Instagram—it’s a full-blown hostage negotiation with tiny, irrational terrorists. If you’ve ever found yourself arguing with a toddler about “just one more story,” or staring into the abyss at 3am wondering if your child is secretly training for Navy SEAL sleep deprivation tests, this guide is for you.
Inside you’ll find:
Reality checks that hit home – because yes, your kid is being a little dick sometimes, and that’s normal.
Battle tactics you can use tonight – scripts, shortcuts, and step-by-step strategies that actually work in the real world (not just in parenting books written by people with one angelic sleeper).
Printable survival tools – checklists for 3am troubleshooting, bedtime trackers, and scripts that shut down endless “water” and “toilet” requests.
Humor that keeps you sane – because if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry (and probably end up eating cold chicken nuggets in the dark).
Written by a parent of nine kids who’s fought every possible bedtime battle, this isn’t theory. It’s lived-in, tested-under-fire survival.
Whether you’re dealing with bedtime resistance, toddler tornadoes, or kids who treat sleep like an optional hobby, this guide gives you the weapons you need to reclaim your evenings.
Parenting is chaos. Bedtime is war. This is your battle manual.
